Dear Autism Mama,
I wanted to write you a little note, maybe it is more of a love letter. Between all the sleepless nights, the therapy appointments and the day-to-day worries I think you probably need a little love. I just wanted to let you know I see you. I haven’t forgotten about you. I see how incredibly hard you work and the worry in your eyes. I see all the things that weight your heart that you just don’t speak about because you are strong and you know you need to keep moving forward with courage because if you don’t, who will? I want you to know I see how soft and fragile you are. I see how tender your heart is. I see this in your eyes, too. When you smile and laugh I see the rest you have been needing for so long. Smiling and laughter is like a deep breath. I see your eyes fill back up with spirit.
I want you to know I love you. I really do. I think you are courageous and beautiful and the gift you have been given, the gift of being the Mom of a child with Autism is because the universe just knew you were built of some kind of special. I think the universe knew that you are filled with the perfect mix of magic, bravery, love and strength. I know the hard days can feel like they are swallowing you whole. I know that sometimes you would do anything to have a break from it all. Just a little less weight.
I wish I could fix it all. I wish I could make it easy forever. I respect you too much to make those promises. You and I both know there is going to be brutal days and there is going to be beautiful days. You and I also know hidden in every day is magnificence. I see you and I know you see it and feel it, too.
What can I promise? I promise to love you. I can love hard I am good at this. I can tell you how incredibly proud I am of you. I can tell you that I will protect you and hold you up high with regard for all you do and all you are. You are amazing, I hope you see and feel this. I can see you. I can smile with you. I can make you laugh. I can sit with you when you need me to. I can be with you when you just need to be messy. I can be serious and silly with you. You are beautiful, perfect and loved. You are magic and all things that make this world beautiful and worthwhile.
When the stars are shining I want you to look up. Look around and find the star that catches your eye. The one that seems to twinkle a little brighter than the rest. This is your star, your reflection. I hope it reminds you that the universe chose you because your heart is filled with a little extra magic and love. You are special.